That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
