I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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