Don't you send me to vm
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
