and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize