you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
