She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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