So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
