So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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