I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
