Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize