a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
