Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
