She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Randomize
