dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
