Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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