it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
