im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
