I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
