Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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