I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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