im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
