I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
