Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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