i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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