I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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