Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I think my moral compass just broke
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
