am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
