Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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