So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
