She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
