I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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