I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
