GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
