Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
