ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize