At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
