I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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