I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize