so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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