my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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