WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
