champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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