just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
