I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
