why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
