We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize