i permit you to call me
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
