with your own penis?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
