i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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