I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
