Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
