I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
