I just saw a hot homeless man
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
