I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
