You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
