Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
