You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
We are two peas in an std pod
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
