Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
