i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
