I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
