Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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