I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
