1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
he just fucked me for my cheese..
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
