Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
