She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
