She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
