this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
