Don't you send me to vm
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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