i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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